You made it!
That great initial step is taken and now there’s no way back – if this sounds too scary, don’t worry just yet, as we’ve got your back and there’s way more to gain than there is to lose.
Moving in together is indeed a unique moment in your life and one that will define the future of your relationship and, eventually, yours as an individual. You’ll come out on the other end knowing much more about yourself – and your other half, hopefully – than you think you do now.
If for one, you’re turning your back to years of individual thinking and existing, you’re now teaming up with someone that you – also very hopefully – share common points of view with.
With that in mind, we’ll give you some everyday advice to keep this new experience running smooth, fun and possibly growing and enduring through life.
You know it already. Respect is everything. Whether you’re talking about each other’s personal space or simply the consideration to have something done for the other, a respectful approach goes a long way into making your new life better and happier.
Respect is the foundation of any relationship, so when you move together, it has to be omnipresent. Every time you break that promise, you have to be able to apologize sooner than your pride will want you to – and your other half will respect you more for it!
You’re now sharing life together, but that doesn’t mean you are no longer two individuals. You will still require enough space to do your things and let your better half do theirs. Assume that such temporary separation will enrichen your lives and grab more experiences that you can both talk about.
You’re not invited to become negligent, in fact, you’re doing your things to keep yourself fresh and interesting for your other half as well.
Each Other’s Things
There are your things. There are their things. There are both your things.
You know where this is heading. You will no longer get your way every time. You will have to compromise.
Compromise in taste, compromise in options and definitely, compromise in life. Moving in together, living with someone, is very much fueled by that concept. The basic principle behind it is that your things are theirs and their things are theirs! – you’ve read it right, you own nothing now!
In a healthy, adult relationship, you’re expected to both agree on something you both like – or at least can live with.
If it’s meant to be, they will cave and share everything with you.
Just as the previous point, this one is ever more related to yourselves and your personalities.
Try to find balance inside your relationship. Give things up for love and, in the same sense, adopt new ones.
Do the exercise of viewing your time moving together as a chance to grow up as a person.
Find that balance within you and help your partner do the same. That way, both of you will become the people you always wanted to be and your experience of moving together will help you overcome life’s difficulties.
Moving in Together: With Pets
So you both decided it was time to get a pooch to join the family and see how it goes.
Perhaps you both love animals. Perhaps one loves dogs and the other loves cats. Either way, you’re in for a treat.
Pets tend to be an extension of who you both are in your daily lives. They live up to your joys and frustrations, join you in deep sadness and are ultimately always available to be loved.
They are also sometimes cause to disagreements and discussions, often serving as an excuse for issues that aren’t necessarily related to them.
As fascinating as moving in together with pets may seem, there are some things you have to assume beforehand.
Get Ready for Pet Hair (Lots of It)
Sure. You’ve known all those people that have pets and always say theirs never sheds.
In the real world, animals shed. Their beds will be covered with trillions of hair. Given the chance, so will yours, your wardrobe, your sofa, your kitchen table towel and another couple thousand of household items you use often.
There is no way around it. You’ve invited a furry friend to live with you and that’s the main consequence.
A great way around it is to invest in a decent robot vacuum cleaner. It will lighten the burden and make things more hygienic overall, but if you’re serious about having pooch inside the house – or mister whiskers, obviously – that’s the price to pay.
However, They Are Lovely
Surely furry lovely. But indeed lovely they are. It’s almost impossible for those that love animals to not enjoy the close company of one. Or two. If necessity claims, three.
They love unconditionally and for as many people as you may have met in this life, none will look at you in the same way as your pet will.
Unless you’re considering downscaling and opting for the fish or the hamster – still pets, but somewhat falling behind the big impact we’re discussing here – then you’re definitely looking at a friend that will stick with you for life.
Remember the Basics
Do consider their needs before you consider yours. As cute as it may seem for the idea of sitting with your pooch on cold days over a movie, they still need to be taken outside. As far as dogs go, they usually don’t like to be left alone – cats would cast a different vote – and there will always be hygienic issues, the occasional mishap on the floor, the possible chewing of personal items – or sofa scratching – as well as the dog smell or the cat litter box.
Pets are definitely worth it, but they do come with some work and dedication involved and you have to be ready to do the work and go the extra mile.
If you both agree that you are in it for the good and the bad, then a pet won’t be the cause of disagreement.
Whatever you do, start by assuming that a pet is an enormous responsibility and one that shouldn’t be taken lightly.
You are bringing another living sentient being, one that can suffer and feel pain, and therefore you have an obligation to care for it to the best of your ability. If you’re inexperienced with pets, they can be a handful, but one that is worth learning to live with and caring for.
If you’re ready or are experienced, then moving together with pets shouldn’t be a challenge in itself, as long as your other half accepts it with a natural approach and is aware of the good and the bad.
Moving in Together Advice
As far as moving in together, there are a few things that come to mind and that are very important and do make a difference by the end of each day.
The basics will always be related to where are you will actually live. Maybe you’ll start fresh in a new house or move into each other’s, but the main focus whatever the scenario is, would be to ensure that your other half feels welcome in your new home.
Deciding Where to Live
In fact, in the whole moving together process, the less important thing should actually be the location. If it’s truly right, the importance is simply in spending more time together with that special someone – regardless of the physical location.
Little effect will it have if you do it for any other reason than the fact that you want to see more of someone, get to know their particular habits, go through the amazing moments that life offers – such as toilet breaks, teeth brushing, snoring, dishwashing and a multitude of tasks that will, ultimately, culminate in the assumption that only pure love can make you tolerate some things to a certain extent.
Supporting Each Other During the Move
The more you keep it fun, the more chances you will have to make it through life and its hardships.
Always try to relativize things even on the greyest of days. It will most likely not all be sunshine and rainbows, so be prepared to be supportive, patient and go the extra mile to cheer your other half up. If there is a reason to move in together, then definitely it will be related to that support whenever your loved one had a bad day.
Make sure you invest in renewing your life. Go out, travel, be prepared to organize surprises. Keep it fresh.
Living together is only the dream you expect it to be if you’re willing to put the effort. It won’t feel right if you’re expecting the other person to do all the work and regardless of what you think, the little things do go a long way. Things, like getting their favorite dessert, booking the favorite restaurant or buying flowers for no reason, can bring life and joy to any home.
Get to know your other half. Each day is an opportunity to find out something you don’t yet. Ask some deep and meaningful questions and debate them. Take the opportunity to risk and learn more about someone than yourself.
If you’ve decided to move together, make every second count and make it worth it. Accept the incredible fact that someone sacrificed a good slice of their individuality and gifted it to you – treasure it!